“Through me the way into the suffering city, / through me the way to the eternal pain, / through me the way that runs among the lost. / Justice urged on my high artificer; / my maker was divine authority, / the highest wisdom, and the primal love. / Before me nothing but eternal things / were made, and I endure eternally. / Abandon every hope, who enter here" (Dante, Inferno, 3.1-9). I have in my hand one of the most interesting books I’ve ever read, One River by Wade Davis. My plan was to spend a few hours quietly reading. But the mere tone of the girl’s voice opposite me seems infinitely more enticing, her thick unkempt hair apparently more enthralling, than the rich Amazon rainforest in which Davis makes some of the greatest botanical discoveries of the twentieth century. It is imposible to read because, owing to the fact we both happen to be alive, there is a chance, no matter how remote, that we might talk, discover we like each other and spend the night in the slow throes of ecstasy. It is a mechanism that has become as overpowering as it is inevitable: I find myself dissecting a room wherever I go with almost scientific scrutiny until I identify the most sensual women there. Not necessarily the most beautiful, but the most intriguing. I proceed to endow her with all sorts of perfections and possibilities that are not her own. Stendhal was right about the Crystalisation process of love, but underestimated the rapidity of its strange and frightful effects. I attach myself to her in 10 minutes in the same way only a few fortunate men feel about their wives after 10 years. The sound of her laughter becomes music. The possibility of her belonging to me takes on the same immeasurable proportions as the night itself. The soft light on the side of her face gives her the appearance of an angel-in-waiting. My tea has gone cold. My book is unopened. Time has ceased to exist and my peace of mind is shattered for the evening.
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AuthorEnglish teacher from the UK. Living in Granada. Currently working in Doha. Archives
February 2022
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